My Journey in Islam

Growing up, Ramadan has always been my most favorite holiday. But the thing was that I never fully caught the whole concept of it. I remember fasting behind my mother's back in elementary school, and whenever my mom would ask me if I ate, I would reply "yeas" so as to not get caught. She always thought that I was too young to fast a full day. Instead she insisted that I’d fast half of the day, and then on Magrib or Asir, I should break it. So I always fasted in private. My first time to fully fast a whole month was in the 5 grade. Then during my early teen years, fasting was a great way to loose weight. It became a useful way for me to remain in a diet, though it never really worked.

I wasn't until I was in the 12th grade of my high school career that I finally grasped the whole concept of Ramadan, maybe not fully but a lot more then I ever did. And I had a new respect and love for Ramadan from then on, not because of its family gatherings and special food. But my new profound love and respect came from my understanding of the whole concept behind Ramadan. During my junior year, I finally decided to try being more consistent with my salats, and during that summer I decided to fully wear by hijab, the "correct" way on my head. Through out my senior year, I’ve went on the most unforgettable spiritual journey that I will never forget!

It started with wearing my hijab around my neck, covering my ears, shoulders, and chest, which become a huge surprise to everyone to the point where they couldn't even recognize me. Then I’ve decided to seriously attend Madrassa to so as to seriously learn how to read the Quran. Going to that Madrasa, I've learned so much more then I ever did, that’s when I also joined the MSA of my school. This helped me learn even more about Islam, and made me want to learn even more. I spent most of my time either on the computer researching Islam, or in the Masjid either asking questions, learning the Quran, or just being around so many Muslims was just over whelming to the point where I wanted to continue this journey which I’ve embarked on. I've had so many supporters and people there who tried to help me understand and keep me on the right path. Then Ramadan started and I started taking Madrasa after school, where most of the members of the MSA went to learn more about Islam as well. During the beginning of the month, I've heard stories, read as much as I could have about Ramadan, and had so many questions that I was so eager to find the answers to.

Then for the first time of my life, I started to go continuously to Trawiiq. I've only went one time during my junior year, which was my first time hearing of it. I did not understand what it was, but it sounded interesting and I also heard that if one prayed Trawiiq, that person’s sins would be forgiven. So despite the fact that it was the longest salat that I’ve ever prayed, that I constantly “almost” fell asleep and that my legs were keep on giving in, it was the greatest experience that I ever had, and could wait for the next Ramadan to do it again. Well when the next year finally came, I made sure to go as much as I could have, though school and my responsibilities around the house limited my chances. But Alhamdulilah, it was an experience that I will never forget.

Though at the moment I kind of neglected my responsibilities around the house, going to the mosque every chance that I got had given me an opportunity to kind of get away from things and focus in Islam and trying to understand it. During those times that I spent on waiting until Trawiiq, I took the advantage of speaking to several of the sisters who came and had interesting discussions and read some of the books in the mosque. Just being in the atmosphere of all the Muslims, both male and female, praying together and eating together had given me the opportunity to understand the diverseness and beauty of Islam. I also had the chance to meet a Muslim Asian for the first time; I was very inspired by the beauty of her Iman! I also spoke to several sisters new to GA, while some told me about their reasons of coming to GA and their previous state. I also had the opportunity to eat several different kinds of food from different parts of the world, as people came and shared their traditional food. I’ve experienced both the beauty and power Islam holds on each and everyone, regardless of whom we ware and where we’re from. And from then on, I had a new and renowned respect for Islam, I’ve finally gotten the strength to try to fully accept myself as a Muslim, and for the first time I was able to understand and feel it in me to the point where my Iman had gotten stronger then it has ever gotten before!

As the month went on, I prayed for Allah to not turn His back on me, though by worldly means I may sometimes turn my back on Him. Intentionally, I know that Allah SWT) knows that I mean to do well, and so that’s why I believe that He guided me just in time before I went off to college.

By the last 10 days of Ramadan, I began to come to an understanding of Islam and the purpose and history of Ramadan, Alhamdulilah! By then I was again learning something new, that I never heard before. I always heard of Laila Tul Kadar, but it always sounded like a made up story, since culturally parents like to spice things up so as to get their kids to be good and excited about it. Even though I still don’t fully understand it, it started to make sense and became real, though I always still believed it. And just when I thought that Trawiiq was the longest prayer, I found out about the Laila Tul Kadar Salat! Now this was the MOST LONGET AND EXHOSTING SALAT, BUT THE BENEFUTS ARE PROFOUND! I got to pray, I believe maybe the second to the last if not last, part of the 10 days of that salat. I spent the night in the Masjid, and I haven’t slept for no more than 10 to 20, or 30 to the most I believe, that whole night! But it was completely worth every second!

Alhamdullilah!

 Now that was the BEST RAMADAN that I had, and now all I have to say is that I just can’t wait until the next Ramadan, Insha Allah Atheim!

With Love, Peace, and Sole,

Asalamu Alaikum!

You’re Sister in Islam,

Sawsan

PS- PLEASE JOIN MY YOUTUBE GROUP (ONLY FOR FEMALES!!:-) ) 

www.youtube.com/universalmuslima

PS- BROTHER SULAYMAN HAS A MALE MUSLIM GROUP IN YOUTUBE At

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One of the most important things to the heart of a Muslim, is forgiveness. It cleanses all body mind spirit and sole, so that we may get closer to Allah (SWT).